love.??

Love begins with smile.... grows with a kiss ... and ends with teardrops...

"you're the one who broke my heart.. . you're the reason why my world feel apart.. .
...you're the one who made me cry... yet., I'm so in love  with you......
and I don't know why.. .

Sometimes.,the memories are worth the pain... sometimes you should hold your head up high.,blend away the tears and say Goodbye...I made a choice to finally let go... . because I can't stand the pain.. .
It's time for my last tears to fall and smile again.. .
I cried today.., not because I miss you or even wanted you...
It's because... I realized ... I'm gonna be alright without you ...
A billion words can't bring you back... .

"relationship are like a glass... sometimes it's better to leave them broken..
than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.. .

trying to forget someone is like trying to remember someone you never knew..

i hate my heart for loving you..

-neh"

Giving all your love to someone is never an assurance
that they love you back... .
some people are just not meant to be in your life...
.no matter how much you want them to be...
you hug him goodbye like it's nothing...
while all you want to do is hold on forever...
I used to smile when I told people that you were mine...
but now.., I can't even smile and say your name at the same time...
As much as I love you.. . I have to say goodbye.. .
coz I know you would be happier if I let you go..
. I'm really sorry for the things I made you cry.. . I'm sorry if tears fell from your eyes.. .
missing you   is not the hardest part.. . knowing I once had you.., is what breaks my heart....
I'll never forget the times we once shared.., and I'll always remember how much you once cared..

but now., it's over... it's time to move on..

-neh"

goodbye..

I guess if you're done breaking my heart., I should go.......
as I started to look in your eyes..you asked me why I was about to cry.. .
co'z I knew you're going to say goodbye.
why can't you see how much you hurt me this time... .?
you used to say you were sorry .., now you don't.. . you don't care anymore... .
I never hated you for not loving me... . but I hate you... for making me fall even more when I'm trying to let you go.. I never show you how broken I am inside...every night I let the tears flow and I always ask myself... .
"why I can't let you go.?" I've said goodbye so many times before... . but all roads lead me back to you... .
I always wish that someday I can forget you... . all about you.. .
and always hoping that our roads will never cross again... . co'z I don't wanna feel this hurt once again... .

I'm tired crying every night...
honestly., I still love you... .but..,I have to let you go...dealing with the fact that you can never be mine....but then., I am thankful for having the opportunity to loved and cared for you.. . .

Good Bye..!


-neh"
November 27,2010

sana.. .

ito'y buong puso ko isinulat para sayo.. .

sa kabila ng masakit na katotohanan... na kahit kailan ay hindi mo malalaman... na ikaw mismo an tinutukoy ko sa liham na ito...

      alam mo ba.. .kahit hindi ka magsalita.,buo na araw ko na nasa tabi lang kita...

sana mabanggit mo minsan... na naging masaya ka dahil ako ang iyong kasama... .

handa ako ipagsigawan sa buong mundo... ang tunay ko nararamdaman para sa iyo...

at alam ko., kahit nun mga panahon na ikaw ay nasa tabi ko pa...hindi mo man lang narinig ang tibok nitong puso ko... ang puso ko na nanghihina kakasigaw sa pangalan mo...

  sa kabila ng kirot at sakit dito sa puso ko na dulot ng sobrang pagmamahal ko sayo... ay ikaw pa rin magpa-hanggang ngayon ang dahilan kung bakit tumitibok pa ito... .

    pag-masdan mo ang luha ko, para maunawaan mo ang totoong laman ng aking puso.,at ng maramdaman mo ang pag-mamahal ko sa iyo..na nakakubli sa bawat pagpatak nito.. hindi ko magawang ilihim ang pananabik sayo... ang maging bahagi sa bawat daang nilalakbay mo...ngunit bakit ganito.??

hindi ko maihakbang ang mga paa ko papalayo sayo.. .

   wala na akong lakas pa.. .hindi ko na kaya itago ang luha sa aking mga mata..at hindi ko na rin kayang pigilan pa...ang ngiting unti-unti na rin nawawala... hindi ko na hihilingin na ibsan mo ang aking kalungkutan... bigyan mu lang ako ng pag-asa.....na balang araw ay makakalimutan din kita... na isang araw...mawawala ka na tin sa isip ko.. . at tuluyan ka na maglalaho sa loob ng puso ko....

sana maintindihan nitong aking isipan...na kailanman....

ay hindi mo mgagawang tandaan...,ang mahahalagang bagay na hindi ko kayang kalimutan...

at sana matanggap nitong aking puso ang katotohanan na magiging masaya ka...

kung wala ako sa buhay mo..        

-neh"

 I tried to fight it.. . but I'd rather give in.. .

through all this hurt.. . 

wondering what could have been..?

when I'd wish I could tiptoe

out of this hiding and pretending.. .

and finally put an end to this endless waiting.. .

See, I've lost my self in this love.. 

 when I've tried walking away.. but I can't.

when I've done everything I could, loving you.

when I've chosen what I want and need.. .
but wondering where this will lead..

I let rivers of tears fall from eyes

cried over everything, the truth and lies

when I wipe away the tears off my face.,

and embrace these feelings I can't erase

I hope to God that one day.,

in true love you'll see and that someday...

finally..,

you'll choose to be with me.. .

-neh."

tinkerbell & taz manian devil."

...simple lang yan... parang silang dalawa... never sila magkakasalubong..,kasi si tinkerbell ay isang fairy from disney na nkatira sa never never land.. at si taz sa looney tunes...hindi sila bagay..right.?? imagine.?? kung magiging sila..hinding hindi sila magkakasundo....magkaiba sila ng kinalakihang mundo..magkaibang bagay ang gusto nila...at hinding hindi nman talaga pwede maging sila...parang yun love namin...hinding hindi kami nagkaintindihan sa anumang bagay dahil magkaiba kami ng gusto...He can never accept who really I am...at yun yung part na pinakamasakit...

...si tinkerbell at taz ay hindi para sa isa't isa.. ='(


ganyan talaga ang buhay...kahit ayaw mo o sobrang sakit para gawin...dumadating pa rin yun time na kailangan mo na siyang bitiwan...dahil iyon ang tama..


bakit nga ba kung sino pa yung mahal na mahal mo...ay siya pa ang magbibigay ng sobrang sakit sa iyo.."




November 22, 2010
neh"

=(

     Dito nagsimula ang isang walang kwentang pagmamahal... dito kun san kame nag-usap nun araw na ayaw na nya umasa...Akala ko dun na magtatapos ang lahat... hindi ko inaasahan na yun araw ding yun magsisimula ang isang relationship na sobra sobra ko pinahalagahan...iningatan...pero mawawala lang din pala...at magiging isang basura na lang para sa kanya....

     November 16,2010..wala na talagang pag-asa...sinubukan ko magsimula ng bagong buhay..,buhay na wala sya...every 5am...andito ako...naghihintay sa pagsikat ng araw...ito kasi yun isang bagay na nakakapagpagaan ng kalooban ko...

     "bagong araw...bagong pag-asa..."
     ...na pagkatapos ng dilim...muling dadating ang liwanag... unti-unti sumisikat ang isang bagong pag-asa para sa lahat... sinasabi din nito na hindi ako dapat sumuko... dahil mas madami pang dadating na bagay higit pa sa mga nawala saken... at sa unti-unting pagtaas ng araw..ay ang muling pagtaas ng bagong pangarap..."

pero sa tuwing nasasaktan ako...dito pa rin ako tumatakbo... pag gusto ko mapag-isa... pinagmamasdan ko at pinakikinggan ang hampas ng alon sa tabing dagat... kasabay ang pagpatak ng luha... na nagdadala ng lahat ng sakit at galit dito sa puso ko... sa kanya ko binubuhos lahat ng sakit at galit na nararamdaman ko... pakiramdam ko kasi sinasagot ako ng dagat....dinadamayan... ramdam ko ang galit ng hampas ng alon...at patungo sa kabilang pampang...,dinadala nya dun palayo lahat ng problema ko...lahat ng bagay na nkakapagpabigat sa kalooban ko...

     dito lang ako... palagi lang dito... kasi ang araw at dagat hindi marunong mang-iwan...kahit ilan beses ko sila masaktan.,hindi sila marunong mang-iwan... kahit iwan ko sila sa panahong masaya ako...pag nabigo ako...andito pa rin sila...handa ako tanggapin at muling damayan... dito na lang ako....


November 21, 2010
12:05nn

neh"